Contents
What Is Domestic Adoption?
Ideal Adoptive-Parent Qualities
Legalities of Adoption
Domestic Infant Adoption
Foster-to-Adopt Adoption
Open Adoption
Other Issues in Adoption
How to Finance an Adoption
After Your Child Comes Home
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Open Adoption
Only a few decades ago, adopted children were kept in the dark about their lives before they were adopted. But in the 1970s and 1980s, it became clear that many adult adoptees end up wanting access to their information or even the opportunity to reunite with their birth families. At the same time, agencies and lawyers who facilitated adoptions discovered that many birth parents wanted assurance that the children they placed were alive and well and began to ask for more contact with adoptive families before and after placement. Now, openness is becoming a common issue in adoption. Open adoption is not coparenting, though—adoptive parents are still the legal parents with all the requisite rights and responsibilities.
Why Open Adoption?
Parents may choose open adoption for several reasons. An open adoption can benefit:
- Adoptees: Research shows that most adoptees want at least some information about their biological roots and many also want the opportunity to choose whether or not to have a relationship with their birth parents. Preliminary studies about open adoption show that adoptees who have contact with their birth parents have an easier time integrating their adoption stories into the rest of their lives.
- Birth parents: Contrary to old assertions that birth parents should just move on and forget the children they place for adoption, many birth parents request some contact with or updates about those children either directly or through an intermediary.
- Adoptive parents: Many adoptive parents value the ability to build a relationship between the child’s birth family and adoptive family. Many adoptive parents say that continued contact helps them feel closer to their children’s biological parents and, contrary to concerns about jealousy, more entitled to parent their children.
Open Adoption and Extended Family Members
Openness can involve any member of the birth family, including siblings and grandparents. Sometimes separate families with adopted siblings maintain an open relationship between the siblings even if they can’t or choose not to have contact with the children’s birth parents.
Degrees of Openness in Adoption
There are three degrees of openness in adoptions: closed, semi-open, and open.
Type of Adoption |
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Things to Consider |
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Closed |
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Semi-open |
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Fully open |
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- Closed adoptions are increasingly rare—families who want to adopt in a closed adoption may need to wait for a long time before a closed situation presents itself.
- Most agencies and attorneys encourage both adoptive parents and birth parents to consider semi-open. These types of adoptions can take many different forms and can change over time, becoming more or less open as birth or adoptive family circumstances change.
- Fully open adoptions, though somewhat more rare than semi-open, are becoming more common. The line between semi-open and open is a highly subjective one.
Legalities of Open Adoption
Some agencies and attorneys encourage birth and adoptive parents to create open adoption agreements. These agreements are not legally binding in most states, however.
Concerns About Open Adoption
Openness is still a new concept, so many adoptive families may not have many role models to turn to. Some concerns that you might have about open adoption include:
- The child might be confused: Although it might seem counterintuitive, children in open adoptions are rarely confused about the roles of either their adoptive parents or their birth parents. In fact, these children often have an easier time integrating their adoptee status as part of their identity.
- The birth parents may not respect your boundaries: A good match from the start is an important element of a positive open adoption. Your agency or attorney should sit down with you and the expectant parents before the adoption occurs to discuss your boundaries. They should also be available if you need to revisit your decisions in the presence of a knowledgeable third party.
- My child may not be safe: If your child’s birth parents had their parental rights terminated because of abuse or neglect, or they struggle with issues that seem beyond your family’s scope, you may need to be more firm about the parameters of your open adoption. Honesty and clear boundaries are important to the relationship.
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