Gift Giving and Receiving

Gift-Giving Etiquette

1. When choosing a present, consider the recipient’s taste, not yours.
2. Take the time to wrap the gift carefully and beautifully.
3. Include a handwritten card.
4. Make sure the gift arrives on time.

Gift-Receiving Etiquette

• Whether you like the gift or not, express gratitude. Comments such as “How thoughtful of you!” show appreciation without requiring you to lie.
• If a gift is handed to you in person, open it in the presence of the giver.

When to Give Gifts

Obligatory

• Weddings and wedding showers
• Births and baby showers
• Religious milestones (christenings, bar mitzvahs)

Customary

• Major anniversaries (10th, 25th, 50th)
• Graduations
• Birthdays
• Housewarmings
• Dinner parties
• Retirements

Basic Gift-Giving Guidelines

• Flowers: At dinner parties, avoid bringing gifts (such as flowers) that require much attention from the host. If you must give flowers, send them either before or after the party.
• Food: Don’t bring food to a dinner party unless you’ve discussed it with the host ahead of time or unless it’s meant to be consumed later. Otherwise, bringing food may disrupt the host’s carefully planned meal.
• Give gifts quietly: Don’t make a fuss over the gifts you bring because guests who arrived without a gift may feel uncomfortable.
• Match the gift to the host’s generosity: The more generosity a host shows you, the more generous your gift should be. For an overnight stay, you might give your host a bottle of wine, while a longer stay would require something more substantial and expensive.

Gifts for Major Anniversaries

Returning Gifts

• Wrong size/duplicates: If something doesn’t fit or you already own one just like it, it’s okay to tell the giver, provided that you know him or her very well. Reiterate how much you appreciate the gift.
• Don’t lie: If you return a gift, don’t tell the giver. If the giver asks about the original gift, tell the truth in the kindest way possible.
• Homemade/personalized/truly unique gifts: If someone made something for you, personalized the gift (monogramming, engraving), or went to great lengths to get the gift for you, don’t return it.
• Do it yourself: If you decide to return a gift, take it back yourself.

Regifting

• If there’s any chance that the original giver will find out about it, don’t do it.
• Passing along a gift works best if you’re honest. Tell the new recipient that the gift was originally given to you, but that you thought they’d enjoy it more.