Contents
Etiquette vs. Manners
Table Manners
How to Set a Table
Guidelines for Proper Tipping
Making Introductions
Invitations and Thank-You Notes
Gift Giving and Receiving
Dating Etiquette
Business Etiquette
Dressing Formally
Wedding Etiquette
Funerals and Memorial Services
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How to Set a Table
The number, type, and arrangement of utensils set for each person at the table is called the place setting. Though they can be formal or informal depending on the meal, all place settings follow three basic rules:
- There should be a set of utensils for each course.
- Utensils should be placed in the order of use, with those for the first course farthest from the plate and those for the last course closest to the plate.
- Utensils for liquids should go to the right of the plate, while those for solids go to the left, with the exception of the knife.
An Informal Place Setting
A typical place setting, such as you might use for a casual dinner party or find at an everyday restaurant, usually contains the following items:
- Plate: In the center
- Dinner fork: To the left of the plate
- Salad fork: To the left of the dinner fork (unless salad will be served after the meal)
- Bread plate: To the left of the fork(s)
- Napkin: On top of the plate or to the left of the fork(s)
- Dinner knife: To the right of the plate, with the cutting edge facing the plate
- Wine glass: Above the utensils to the right of the plate
- Water glass: Beside the wine glass
A Formal Place Setting
Depending on personal preference, what’s being served, or the formality of the meal, the following utensils and tableware may also be included in the place setting:
- Butter knife: Resting across the bread plate
- Dessert utensils: Above the plate, spoon on top (handle to the right) and fork below (handle to the left)
- Other utensils (including steak and fish knives): Added to the setting in the order they will be needed, from the outside in
- Additional glassware: May include a champagne flute and sherry glass, with the wine and sherry glasses in front of the water goblet and champagne flute
- Charger: A service plate that goes under the plate containing the first course (when the main course is brought out, the main course plate takes the place of the charger)
How to Hold and Use Utensils
There are two different ways to use utensils during a meal: American style and Continental style. Whichever you use, make sure to avoid the two biggest utensil pitfalls:
- Never hold a utensil in a fist.
- Once you pick up a utensil from the table, it should never touch the table again.
Cutting Food
In both the American and Continental styles, food is cut the same way.
- Hold the knife in the right hand, with your index finger on the back of the blade.
- Hold the fork in your left hand, with the tines curving down and your index finger on the back of the shaft.
- Use the fork to control the food and the knife to cut.
The differences between the American and Continental styles begin after the food is cut.
American Style of Using Utensils
The knife is placed on the edge of the plate, the fork is transferred to the right hand, and the food is brought to the mouth with the prongs of the fork facing up.
Continental Style of Using Utensils
The fork stays in the left hand and the knife in the right. Food is brought to the mouth with the fork prongs facing down. The knife can be used to keep food on the fork.
Rest Position
The American and Continental styles also differ in the way you’re supposed to lay down utensils once you’ve finished eating.
- American: Lay the knife and fork next to each other and diagonally across the plate.
- Continental: Lay the knife and fork down in an x-pattern across the plate.
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