Contents
What Is Infertility?
Basics of Human Reproduction
Common Causes of Infertility
Medical Help for Infertility
Low-Tech Fertility Treatments
High-Tech Fertility Treatments
Third-Party Reproductive Help
Alternative Fertility Treatments
How to Decide on a Fertility Treatment
How to Pay for Fertility Treatment
Other Options for Dealing with Infertility
How to Cope with Infertility
Infertility Resources
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Other Options for Dealing with Infertility
Fertility treatments are not the only way to deal with infertility. For families who reach their emotional, physical, or financial treatment limits, there are other ways to resolve the infertility experience.
How to Move Past Infertility
Finding a resolution to infertility can be a back-and-forth process—families and couples must be flexible as they consider and reconsider their options. Few people living with infertility experience the struggle as a straight trajectory. Many reach a point at which they feel that they’ve moved on, only to find themselves grieving again later, particularly around holidays or anniversaries. Alternatively, they may feel done with treatment, only to find themselves back in their doctor’s office when they hear about a new treatment protocol. It is normal to reassess your decisions as life progresses.
Living Child-Free
Some families go from feeling “childless” to living “child-free.” Rather than focus on the loss of parenthood, they begin to embrace the special gifts of a life without children. Thinking about these advantages may seem impossible—even offensive—during the time of active treatment, but they may be a comfort if treatment no longer seems like the best option. Some advantages to living child-free are:
- More time to nurture your relationship with your partner
- More economic freedom
- The ability to devote yourself to your career or hobbies
- Greater flexibility in long-term and short-term plans
Living with a Smaller Family
If you’re facing a case of secondary infertility, resolution may come through accepting that your child or children will not experience siblinghood in the way you had hoped. Or you may need to accept that your family makeup will differ from the family of your dreams. If you and your partner have children from previous relationships, resolution may come through accepting that you won’t be able to have a child together.
Grieving for the family you had hoped to have is an important part of processing your infertility experience. You may feel guilty for wanting more, especially if people tell you to appreciate what you have. You can both appreciate your blessings and grieve your losses. Doing so is a healthy, normal reaction to the experience of secondary infertility.
Adoption
Some families resolve their infertility by moving on to adoption. There are several ways to add a child to your family through adoption. (For more information, see the Quamut guides to Domestic Adoption and International Adoption.)
- Domestic adoption: In domestic adoption, parents hoping to adopt work with an attorney or agency to find a woman who is interested in placing her baby for adoption. Domestic infant adoption can cost a few thousand dollars to tens of thousands of dollars. Depending on the specific program, domestic infant adoptions may have varying levels of openness between the child and his or her birth parents—from prebirth meetings to postbirth cards and letters (often through an intermediary) to fully open, face-to-face visits.
- International adoption: International programs vary; cost, availability of children, and qualifications depend on the child’s country of origin. Families who are interested in exploring international adoption can order brochures from a variety of agencies to gain an understanding of their options.
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