Other Issues in International Adoption

As you consider how to adopt, keep the following issues in mind.

A transcultural adoption or transracial adoption means that the child you adopt is of a different culture or race from you and your family. All international adoptions are transcultural, but many of them are also transracial. Transracial adoptions can involve sensitive issues, so if you’re considering this option, first take a close look at your personal beliefs about race and ethnicity. Are you comfortable with the idea of having a mixed family? If you decide to adopt a child from a race or ethnicity that’s different from your own, your homestudy may require that you receive additional training, such as hair care or skin care lessons.

You may hesitate to recognize the transcultural or transracial aspect of your child’s adoption, feeling that you child should be become “all-American.” It’s true that your child becomes part of the great pluralistic tradition in America and that celebrating his birth history is part of that tradition. But most adoption experts agree that helping your child explore cultural ties can help him grow up with healthy self-esteem and confidence about his adoption story.

Finding ways to embrace your child’s culture is an ongoing part of your parenting journey, which will likely change and evolve as your child grows. It can also be an opportunity for you to expand your existing family’s cultural awareness. Some ways to celebrate your child’s ethnicity are to:

Some children available for adoption are part of a sibling group. Adopting siblings can give you an instant family and can be emotionally beneficial to your adopted children because you’re helping to keep their birth family intact. The experience can be wonderful but inevitably brings new challenges. When adopting more than one child, you must deal not only with their respective issues as they settle in but also with their relationship to one another. If you are interested in adopting a sibling group, speak with other families who can mentor you through the process and early transition time.

Parents who adopt children who are unrelated but close in age, or who bring home a child close in age to a child who’s already at home, are said to be “twinning”—essentially creating artificial twins. Twinning is controversial, and many adoption professionals advise against it. The challenges natural to adoption can be compounded by the overwhelming needs of children who are developmentally similar. If you’re considering adopting two children close in age, talk to families who have done it to see whether it’s truly your best option and to get advice about making it successful.

Birth order—the order in which your children were born—is crucial to your children’s identity and development. Adoption can upset your family’s birth order—for example, if adopting a child will make your oldest child a middle child. Some experts caution against changing the birth order of your family because it creates more challenges for the child who is moved out of his role. However much this affects your child depends on his age and the circumstances of the adoption.