Contents
What Is International Adoption?
Where to Begin the International Adoption Process
Traits that Agencies and Countries Look for in Adoptive Parents
International Adoption Costs
Types of Children Available to Adopt Internationally
Other Issues in International Adoption
Starting the Adoption Process
The Adoption Wait
The Adoption Referral
How to Prepare to Travel to Your Child’s Country
In-Country Adoption
Your Adopted Child’s Homecoming
Common Issues with Children Adopted Internationally
Attachment Challenges in
Adopted Children
How to Create a Lifebook
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The Adoption Referral
In most cases, your country will send you a referral once a child has been chosen for you to adopt. A referral typically contains pictures and some medical information about the child. Sometimes you get additional information, such as a report from that child’s caregivers or a video of the child. Referral content varies—it may contain very little information about the child or may be very detailed. Though the country, orphanage, or agency may have chosen this child for you, you still have the opportunity to accept or decline. You may want to seek help deciphering the information shared in the referral so that you can make your decision.
How Referrals Are Made
Agencies, orphanages, and countries may refer a child to you randomly or because of specifics, such as age or gender, in your request to adopt. Sometimes parents find that the children who have been referred to them look like them or their other children. Or they may share a birth date or have names that tie them to their waiting adoptive family.
How to Find an International Adoption Medical Expert
Certain doctors in the United States are familiar with international adoption and know how to interpret referral information. Many are specially trained to decipher short videos and limited photographs to uncover potential health issues. To find an international adoption expert near you, contact the American Academy of Pediatrics (www.aap.org) or call the nearest children’s hospital. Your agency may also be able to help you find someone.
Know Your Limits Regarding Your Child’s Health Issues
Though in your homestudy and application process you’ll have already discussed the special needs that you’re open to accepting, you should revisit that discussion when the specific child is chosen for you. If concerns about the health of the child who was referred to you are now giving you doubts, speak with your agency contact about your next steps.
What to Send to Your Child in Advance
Once you’ve accepted a referral, you may be allowed to send things to your child and to her caregivers. If you’re able to send a package, you may consider including:
- Clothes, blankets, or toys for the other children who are still waiting for parents
- Pictures of yourself, your home, and your family to share with your child
- A blanket or toy that smells like you and your home (some waiting parents sleep with the toy in the hopes that their smells will be familiar to the child when she arrives)
- Disposable cameras for the staff—you might include a note asking staffers to take pictures of your child’s playmates or caregivers
- Thank-you gifts for your child’s caregivers
Talk with your agency for more information about what’s appropriate or welcomed within your child’s adoption program.
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