Traits that Agencies and Countries Look for in Adoptive Parents

Personal Traits

• Age: Some programs and countries have minimum and/or maximum age criteria for adoptive parents. If you don’t meet one agency’s age criteria, you may want to see whether another agency has different standards.
• Religious observance: Some agencies with religious affiliations ask potential adoptive parents to sign a statement of faith attesting that they share that affiliation, but not every agency with a religious connection has this requirement. Also, some agencies without religious requirements may work with orphanages in other countries that do have religious requirements. (For example, many orphanages in Haiti will place children only in Christian homes.)
• Employment/income: All agencies and most countries have income requirements, which vary. Don’t assume that you have to be rich in order to adopt, though; many adoption professionals simply want to see that you have the means to support a family.
• Sexual orientation: Some countries have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, but others specifically state that their children may not be placed in gay or lesbian households. Speak with a knowledgeable agency to understand your international adoption options.

Specific Concerns for Gay and Lesbian Parents

• How gay friendly is the agency with which you’re working?
• If you or your partner already has a biological child, does your state allow second-parent adoption, meaning that both partners can be legal parents to the child?
• Are you comfortable being open about your sexual orientation to your agency?
• Do the agencies you’re interested in have experience negotiating gay and lesbian adoptions in the countries you’re considering?

Family Makeup

• Marital status: Some agencies and countries require that hopeful parents be married. Others don’t allow couples to adopt until they’ve been together a certain length of time. Others welcome single-parent adoptions.
• Other children in the home: Agencies and countries want to know about other children living in your home. They may have restrictions about placing children of a certain age in your home depending on the ages of children you’re already parenting.
• Other adults in the home: Any adults who share your home with you are included in the agency’s consideration, including unmarried partners, roommates, and any adult children still living at home.

History

• Arrest record: If you or your partner has an arrest or conviction record, the agency may not be willing to work with you. At the very least, they’ll put you under closer scrutiny during the homestudy process. If you’re concerned about a criminal record, contact an attorney to find out whether adoption is a reasonable goal for you.
• Physical health: A physical and a signed statement from your doctor are included in your homestudy. If you have any health issues, talk to your agency to find out whether they might be an issue and what you can do about it. Different countries have different health requirements.
• Mental health: Though having mental health issues doesn’t preclude you from adopting, agencies want to see that you’re receiving appropriate treatment for your mental illness. They may also want a signed statement from your supervising therapist. In addition, some countries may have restrictions based on mental health diagnoses.